She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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