Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
My dad just said "fuck circus"
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
