I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
