whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize