i just wanna soil my oats bro
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
