yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
