I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
