we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Randomize
