She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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