Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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