I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
