I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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