I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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