you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Randomize
