You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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