Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
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