I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
