Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
