She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
