Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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