I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
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