There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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