Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
