Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
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