Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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