yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
