Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
