Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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