I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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