i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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