That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
