ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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