He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize