Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
