Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Someone signed my nipple.
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