I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
