I'm so fucking centered right now
They should really pass out barf bags in church
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
