that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
