Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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