do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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