**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
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