hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
