we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Randomize
