kristin has been a bad kristin
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
