it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
