Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
im holly from the hills drunk
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
