I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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