No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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