is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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