Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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