Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
