Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Randomize
