can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Shitshow foam night was such a success
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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