You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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