I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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