is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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