Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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