YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize