you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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