Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
