if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
