the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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