I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
