i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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