Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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