also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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