It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
