rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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