I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
