New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
