jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
How does one acquire holy water?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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