Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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