I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
