Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
So apparently I’m into choking now
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