Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
