forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
