using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
