you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
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