Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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