Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
